I
wasn't prepared for that moment in my heart. It wasn't something I had
ever considered in the realm of possibility. What is going on? My Dad's shoulders are not supposed to change! An
enormous tide of emotions overwhelmed me. That moment only lasted a few
seconds, but it felt like an eternity. My hero, my strength, my mentor,
my friend, my Dad's shoulders were noticeably weakened by the heavy burden he
has carried for years. During this battle against cancer, I am often asked about my Dad. When asked how my father is doing, my immediate
response now is..."weaker frame, stronger heart!"
For
years, my father's broad shoulders have carried me, Mom, Miquell, Eva, Gibson,
a great church, and anything else he could get his big hands around. There is a "legacy" on his
shoulders and in that moment...I sensed it's weight. I felt my shoulders
grow. Something happened in my spirit that is beyond explanation.
I don't
know too many people who could give cancer the fight that my parents are
giving. The discipline, valor, and courage that my parents are displaying
is truly inspiring. Every hour of the day seems filled with another treatment,
organic meal, IV session, or nutraceutical concoction. It is a
mind-numbing regimen. I have watched my mother and father handle it all
with confidence and class. I give honor to my Parents!
Today,
I took a moment to look out the rear and side-view mirrors of my life. Where
have I come from? Where am I going? How am I doing on the journey? There
are a few facts... I am a 36 year old, husband, father, son, and Pastor. I
often feel the "weight" that each role adds to my shoulders. Many
days I wonder if I can carry the load. Miquell, Eva, and Gib must find
strength and resolve in my spirit. My wife needs a shoulder to lean on
and my kids need a shoulder to hold tight when other things seem fleeting.
The
church I Pastor is filled with amazing people. God has blown our minds
the last few years. There is a
paradox of being a "Pastor" that is often overwhelming. The moment
you find yourself thinking..."were on track", "everything is coming
together", "that family is rock-solid", "God just sent us
help"... and then
life happens, the people that you worked tirelessly to show the love of Christ
to just walks away from the church (Yes, I know its not personal, but it still
feels personal!), and within weeks you can experience an array of emotions that
can leave even the most prayerful Pastor discouraged. There are just
times when the "weight" seems overwhelming. However, I am
feeling my shoulders getting stronger.
Dad -
I'm certain there is no one any stronger in the world than you. We can
win this fight!
Mom -
You're strength is a showcase for the God you faithfully serve.
Miquell
- I think I have my Dad's shoulders. You can lean on me!
Eva -
I'll carry you on one side.
Gib -
I'll carry you on the other.
ALC -
God put us all together to reach this city. Let's stand shoulder to
shoulder!
Scott
Wesley Brown wrote a song many years ago that has been on my mind lately. I
hope you hear these lyrics speak to weight you are carrying also…
There is no
problem too big
God cannot solve
There is no
mountain too tall
He cannot move
There is no storm
too dark
God cannot calm
There is no sorrow
too deep
He cannot soothe
If He carried the
weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know, my brother
that He will carry you
If He carried the
weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know, my sister
that He will carry you
God is molding strong shoulders on me. The weight is often heavy but we trust God through it all. My earthly Father is strongest man I have ever known. If my Dad's shoulders are that strong, I can only imagine how strong my Heavenly Father's shoulders must be. I pray that you
feel the weight that is on your shoulders being shifted from you to your
Father. I must confess...the shoulders seem stronger and the burden seems lighter.
