The Weight On My Shoulders

Erma Bombeck wrote:  "Then God molded long legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearby said "Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How will he pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?" God smiled, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."  

My father has always had strong shoulders.  Recently I was visiting my hometown, the "Ground Zero" of his battle with cancer.  When I pulled into the driveway, I was greeted by my Queen Mother and led into the war zone where my father was engaged in the fight.  As I turned the corner, my attention was drawn to the man in the corner of the ring.  For just a moment, I could almost hear the bell ring and hear the announcer say..."And now in this corner, David Hennigan, ready...fight!" Upon reaching his side, I knelt down and gave my Dad, a hug.  

I wasn't prepared for that moment in my heart.  It wasn't something I had ever considered in the realm of possibility.  What is going on?  My Dad's shoulders are not supposed to change!  An enormous tide of emotions overwhelmed me.  That moment only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.  My hero, my strength, my mentor, my friend, my Dad's shoulders were noticeably weakened by the heavy burden he has carried for years.  During this battle against cancer, I am often asked about my Dad.  When asked how my father is doing, my immediate response now is..."weaker frame, stronger heart!"  

For years, my father's broad shoulders have carried me, Mom, Miquell, Eva, Gibson, a great church, and anything else he could get his big hands around.  There is a "legacy" on his shoulders and in that moment...I sensed it's weight.  I felt my shoulders grow.  Something happened in my spirit that is beyond explanation.  

I don't know too many people who could give cancer the fight that my parents are giving. The discipline, valor, and courage that my parents are displaying is truly inspiring. Every hour of the day seems filled with another treatment, organic meal, IV session, or nutraceutical concoction.  It is a mind-numbing regimen.  I have watched my mother and father handle it all with confidence and class.  I give honor to my Parents!  

Today, I took a moment to look out the rear and side-view mirrors of my life. Where have I come from?  Where am I going?  How am I doing on the journey? There are a few facts... I am a 36 year old, husband, father, son, and Pastor.  I often feel the "weight" that each role adds to my shoulders.  Many days I wonder if I can carry the load.  Miquell, Eva, and Gib must find strength and resolve in my spirit.  My wife needs a shoulder to lean on and my kids need a shoulder to hold tight when other things seem fleeting.  

The church I Pastor is filled with amazing people.  God has blown our minds the last few years.  There is a paradox of being a "Pastor" that is often overwhelming. The moment you find yourself thinking..."were on track", "everything is coming together", "that family is rock-solid", "God just sent us help"... and then life happens, the people that you worked tirelessly to show the love of Christ to just walks away from the church (Yes, I know its not personal, but it still feels personal!), and within weeks you can experience an array of emotions that can leave even the most prayerful Pastor discouraged.  There are just times when the "weight" seems overwhelming.  However, I am feeling my shoulders getting stronger.  

Dad - I'm certain there is no one any stronger in the world than you.  We can win this fight!

Mom - You're strength is a showcase for the God you faithfully serve.

Miquell - I think I have my Dad's shoulders.  You can lean on me!

Eva - I'll carry you on one side.

Gib - I'll carry you on the other.

ALC - God put us all together to reach this city.  Let's stand shoulder to shoulder!

Scott Wesley Brown wrote a song many years ago that has been on my mind lately.  I hope you hear these lyrics speak to weight you are carrying also…

There is no problem too big

God cannot solve

There is no mountain too tall

He cannot move

There is no storm too dark

God cannot calm

There is no sorrow too deep 

He cannot soothe

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know, my brother that He will carry you

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know, my sister that He will carry you

God is molding strong shoulders on me.  The weight is often heavy but we trust God through it all. My earthly Father is strongest man I have ever known.  If my Dad's shoulders are that strong, I can only imagine how strong my Heavenly Father's shoulders must be.  I pray that you feel the weight that is on your shoulders being shifted from you to your Father.  I must confess...the shoulders seem stronger and the burden seems lighter.  

Comments

[jeana]

Loved this post. Thanks for writting with your heart! Love you guys! Glad yall are here...

[Steve Mckiddy]

Just got around to reading this tonight, this is awesome. I Love the way this makes me feel, and I respect you even more, I'm looking forward to reaching these cities with you!

[Amanda]

Wow...I am so touched by your words...But God...we are all "strength-training" our shoulders...Love you BIG...

[VERNETTA HARRISON]

TO JEFF HENNIGAN WHAT AWESOME WORDS THAT YOU WROTE ABOUT UR FATHERS SHOULDER AND UR MOTHERS STRENGTH. WHAT GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL FAMILY THAT YOU HAVE AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU IN THIS TRYING TIME IN UR LIFE. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE A GREAT LOVE FOR UR PARENTS AND AS MY PASTOR AS A YOUNG CHILD I WILL NEVER FORGET THE LOVE THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN SHOWED TO ME AND MY SISTER FOR MANY MANY YEARS. MAY GOD TAKE SPECIAL CARE OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. PLEASE GIVE UR PARENTS OUR LOVE AND PRAYERS. MIRACLE ARE STILL HERE TODAY.
LOTS OF LOVE,
VERNETTA HARRISON & RENEE GATHRIGHT
BORN AND RAISED IN HAYNESVILLE, LA.

[Terri Hare]

Dear Jeff,
You will never know the role your mom and dad played in Robby's life. They were his source of strength in some of his most trying times. I will always believe that Robby never lost his faith, he just made bad choices. I am firmly believing in his last few seconds before he died that he called out to the one that mattered the most. Tell your mom and dad that I said hello and am praying for them. When I saw your picture, you are not the same little boy that lived behind Robby , Melrose and Bernard. You have grown up into a fine man. Sending you lots of love and prayers.
Sincerely,
Terri Hare

[Mary Bailey Wideman]

Jeff,

I'm sure you probably don't remember me but I had your parents as pastors in my youth also, and what a beautiful thing you have written about both of them. I remember well the strength they both have and also remember how devastated we all were as a youth group to lose them when we did. I just lost my father three months ago to cancer also. Being an only child as you are, it makes it seem a little more trying at times. So, my advice to you is to enjoy every single moment you can so you can cherish every memory forever. I only had two months with my dad after he was diagnosed. Please tell you parents hello and I am praying for them and you keep your chin up and let your faith in God help you through. My prayers are with you all. You have a beautiful family and I can hardly believe your all grown up! You were such a fun kid. Thank you for sharing your life with us!

[Sis. Joyce Lewis]

Jeff and Family,
I want ALL of you to know my prayers have always been with you. My love and respect has never wavered for Bro. And Sis. Hennigan and you. You were my boy when I kept you in the nursery and for your Mom while she was at the organ for lots of years.
Please let them know I love them so much and have NEVER stopped missing you all. Earsel is in the nursing home, and I am here alone. For 2 years now. I'm crippled but God has seen us through so much and I know he is there with you all. Thank God you are there with them. Give them our love. God bless ALL of you.
With all our love and prayers, Sis. Joyce and Earsel Lewis*******